“Be willing to have a conversation with each other about what you’re looking for before you walk into a shop,” recommends Bex Caputo, a sex educator and former sex shop manager.

“Some toys are specifically labeled ‘for couples,’ but any toy can be for couples.” It’s better to focus on finding toys that fulfill the specific purpose you want them for, whether that be clitoral stimulation during intercourse, app-enabled pleasure for long-distance couples, intense anal sensations, or something else entirely. “Ignore all the marketing,” Epiphora warns. What should couples look for when shopping for sex toys? It’s “really freeing when you realize doesn’t have to all be about human-to-human contact-you can bring in tools to help you access pleasure more easily and efficiently,” says Cassandra Corrado, a sex educator for adults. This may be especially true for people who struggle to feel pleasure or achieve orgasm without toys, whether due to sensitivity issues, erectile dysfunction, a physical disability, or other conditions. Toys “can create unique opportunities for pleasure and bonding,” says Rae Chen, a writer who reviews sex toys at The Notice. Even if you use a fancy stand mixer while baking a cake, you’re still the one who baked that cake-and by the same token, the pleasure and fun of using a sex toy with a partner is often more about the partner than the toy. “Humans don’t vibrate humans don’t have penises made of stainless steel.” But that also doesn’t mean that toys are a replacement for, or a threat to, human relationships. “Sex toys do things humans cannot,” agrees Epiphora, a blogger who has been reviewing sex toys professionally for over a decade. “Sex toys allow you and your partner (or partners) to bring an exciting sensation that might not be possible with tongues, fingers, and genitals alone,” Finn says, adding that you can think of them as the sprinkles on top of an already delicious sundae. But sex toys aren’t just for single folks, Lisa Finn, a sex educator at Babeland, tells SELF. There’s a widespread misconception that sex toys are a thing you use before you meet your partner-or something you use for solo play when they’re out of town. If your sex life has come to feel monotonous, sex toys can help you conjure more intense versions of sensations you already enjoy, and help yourself feel more closely connected to your partner. Plus, if you’re on the hunt for a great sexy gift for your partner (or yourself) this Valentine’s Day, a sex toy is always a good call-trust us. We tapped a handful of experts, too, to give us specific products they like and general things to look for when scoping out toys for you and your boo(s).

The best sex toys for couples can really shake things up in the bedroom, so we’ve curated a list of top-notch sex toys for you and your partner to enjoy. When it comes to sexual pleasure, there are plenty of sex toy products out there to help you succeed.

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